Essay English Language Funny

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A neighbourhood in Rome Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her Colic...............................

What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section........ A punctuation mark Dilate..............................

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. (a) Kansas City (b) Heartbreak Hotel (c) Blueberry Hill 5. Who is generally given credit for originating the term ''Rock And Roll''? In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher: (a) Little Richard (b) Frankie Lymon (c) Tony Orlando 12. ..'' (a) cause there ain't no answer for a life without booze (b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues (c) cause my car's gassed up and I'm ready to cruise 24.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. Name the song with ''A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom.'' (a) Good Golly, Miss Molly (b) Be-Bop-A-Lula (c) Tutti Fruitti 10.

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8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.. ''Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____ bring me a dream,'': (a) Mr. Paul Anka's ''Puppy Love'' is written to what star? In 1959, Berry Gordy, Jr., started a small record company called... Edd Brynes had a hit with ''Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb''. (a) 77 Sunset Strip (b) Hawaiian Eye (c) Surfside Six 17. ''They often call me Speedo, but my real name is ......'' (a) Mr. ''Be Bop A Lula ....'' (a) she's got the rabies (b) she's my baby. ''Fine Love, Fine Kissing …..'' (a) right here (b) fifty cents (c) just for you 27. By Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter “c” would be dropped to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer be part of the alphabet.The only kase in which “c” would be retained would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.India is known for its rich diversity of cultures as well as languages.That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. In Bobby Darin's ''Mack The Knife,'' the one with the knife, was named: (a) Mac Heath (b) Mac Cloud (c) Mc Namara 9. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ: "We will heel you. We will even dye for you." Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Place to do upholstery Rectum......................... But I'm afraid this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx Wonderful Items From Actual Student Papers 1. for support rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912) "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x”—bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez —tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivili.Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.


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